Heartbreak in Telenovelas vs. American Series
In class, I learned about the concept of despecho, where people actively endure their own pain and heartbreak rather than closing it off. As an Asian American, it was a concept that made no sense to me; I had been raised to simply move on from heartbreak, preferably quickly. Taking the time to fully embrace ones own pain felt like a waste of time to me. After watching the process of despecho in the telenovela La Reina del Flow, my opinion changed.
When the protagonist, Yeimy, lost both of her parents in a shooting, she cried, which was a perfectly reasonable reaction. But then it happened again and again as she spent time in her state of despecho. Being the numbed televison viewer I was, I got annoyed. "So many people lose their parents in televison, and they don't react this much!" I thought to myself. But, after reflecting on it, I realized that while grief is portrayed in American TV differently, the telenovela's portrayal of despecho is still a very valid (and maybe healthier) way to cope.
First, let's break down Yeimy's reaction to the death of her parents. Upon finding her parents killed, she screamed in pain, and had to be held back from the crime scene. While she still tried to continue working on her music, she took a lot of time herself to mope over the tragedy. This example of despecho annoyed me at first, but after comparing it to American coping mechanisms, no longer seems unproductive.
Let's start with a staple of American TV. The superhero. In CW's The Flash, the protagonist Barry Allen lost his mother at a young age, and later in life, lost his father. However, he didn't fall into a quiet despair like Yeimy. Instead, he locked his feelings away. His coping mechanism of choice was to travel back in time to save his mother from getting killed which set up an alternate timeline that messed everything up in the real world (a lot, I know). The consequence's of Barry's actions caused the deaths of several people. Maybe if he had taken the time to sulk and embrace his emotions like Yeimy, he wouldn't have done something that drastic.
Ok. So maybe superhero shows are a little too much. Let's try something slightly closer to the telenovela: the medical drama. In Gray's Anatomy, George O'Malley lost his father in a procedure, and didn't spend much time sulking or embracing the pain he felt. Instead, he decided to go to Vegas and get married to the girlfriend that he didn't really like, causing both of them to be miserable for half a season before their inevitable divorce.
So, let's summarize. In the American TV drama, grief is dealt with, not via emotions, but via actions. In the telenovela, grief is dealt with by feeling it in its entirety, even if it keeps the mourner from doing any actions for some time. That's an extreme oversimplification, but you get the point.
Witnessing the way telenovelas portrayed grief annoyed me at first glance. I'm used to seeing grief dealt with silently and quickly, even if it's extremely unhealthy or has consequences. Blocking out their emotions caused George O'Malley and Barry Allen to act out in their respective shows. In a way, Yeimy's open expression of her sadness is stronger than hiding it. By taking the time to understand the way heartbreak is portrayed in telenovelas, I've learned to give my own negative emotions validation.
Siena,
ReplyDeleteYour post is very insightful, and the cultural differences between ways of handling grief are clear and fascinating. At first, I was a bit confused by the concept of despecho as well. I feel as though in American society we are taught to quickly move on and get over our emotions, or even to simply suppress our sorrows. I've been told that there's it's pointless and unproductive to wallow, and to just forget about it and get back to my normal life. Even when I have allowed myself to mourn greatly, I've always had a voice in the back of my head telling me I'm wasting my time. I feel that the American culture of grief could be easily summarized with the phrase "There's no use crying over spilled milk". As you also said, it is because I was raised in this culture of bottling up negative emotions that I was surprised by despecho.
I appreciate your comparison of the coping mechanisms in these shows. It seems as though in the American TV shows their grief supression tends to lead them down even worse paths, whereas Yeimy's coping mechanism was much healthier. I wonder what might cause this cultural difference? Why is the US so obsessed with bottling up sorrow and acting out in other ways? Personally, I think it all comes down to productivity. I know the culture of the US is heavily job-oriented and centered all around being successful and productive. Because this culture is so ingrained in us, letting oneself mourn can often lead you to feel as you are being unsuccessful and unproductive. Of course, I am sure there are many other factors, not just lack of productivity, as to why Americans feel this way about despecho. And feeling despecho is productive! It lets you understand your sorrows and to eventually feel content with life again. To me, the despecho style coping is better for a person's mental health than bottling it up. This is a fascinating topic and I'm very interested to hear my classmate's thoughts on why this difference occurs. Overall, though I was surprised by despecho when I first learned about it, you've made it clear in your post that it is actually the best form of coping. Have a great afternoon!
Thanks so much,
Noah
Hi Siena!
ReplyDeleteThis post was a very unique idea!
As a Bulgarian American, I always noticed emotional differences between my culture and America's. I love that you included your Asian culture, telenovela culture, and American culture. Since telenovelas are so globalized, explaining the three different perspectives really made me open my eyes to how different telenovela viewers can be, and what we can all learn from them.
My Bulgarian culture follows more of the "despecho" concept, feeling and expressing your emotions to the fullest; which gives me a sense of home within telenovelas. However, since I have spent most of my life in the United States, I too feel quite strange when I dwell on something for a long time. America's capitalistic culture revolves around productivity, and it's tough to be productive when you are going through a dramatic event, in Yeimy's case the death of her parents.
While she attempted to continue her music, it was difficult to put her all into a project when she feels such new and deep pain. Maybe I am biased because of my culture, but it would be better for Yeimy to take her time grieving and then slowly begin putting her energy towards her passions because ultimately, that would be the most productive and healthy. If she had continued trying to create music, she would just create something she would be unhappy with and later have to start over.
America has one of the highest (if I am not mistaken, the highest) rates of mental illnesses in the world. From what you mentioned, I am beginning to think these high rates are because of the productive culture. Trying to be productive while grieving is like oil and water. When you try and suppress your problems to be productive, you begin digging a depressive hole for yourself. It is important for this culture to realize it, because it can be difficult when we are so caught up with school and work.
Take care!